ABC???

So i've been reading other pro-ana blogs and most of them have this ABC (ana boot camp) thing going on. I'm going to give it a go. Because of my bingefest today, I'm not starting until Sunday, July 26th. This morning (wedenesday) I weighed myself at 6AM and i reached a new all time low! 109.6! If only I was taller than 5'2 that low number would be even more significant. Anyways, after I weighed myself and my dad left for work, I binged. And purged. Four times. Did it again twice around 4PM. And four more times spanning from 9PM to 12:15PM. Pretty freaking pathetic isn't it? 109.6 down the drain. By Sunday I should be back to that though. Also, I'm not being so strict with the fasts now, because that may be what made me binge.

Update about yesterday. Went to go see the new Harry Potter movie with a few buds last night. It was great! What was the best about the whole night though was that I was thinking about wearing jeans, a pair of skinnies, size 7, that used to be damn snug on me. Well now they're baggy! Totally loose! They didn't stay on without a belt! Because the baggyness looked bad on me I wore shorts instead. I love how thin my thighs are looking. And my collarbone, its beginning to stick out!

I wish I could feel as good now as I did yesterday. I have what another blogger calls a food hangover. I hate myself. I hate my body. My abdomen is so fat and morbid looking. There's a pool party tomorrow that I won't be at most likely now because I'm sure I'll be bloated and disgusting. Damn, I can't wait till I can finally wear a bikini. I'm so tired of tankinis. They're so boring.

I should be seeing a shrink soon. And I requested it, I'm not being forced to go. I want to talk about all my other issues I got going on and perhaps I'll feel better and have more time to focus on ana. I'm not going to tell this shrink about ana. Or mia. I may tell her I think I have a night eating syndrom though. Hopefully to get sleeping pills. I haven't figured it all out yet.