Attack of Insomnia AGAIN

So what do ya know, once again its nearing 5AM and I can't sleep worth crap. It's especially painful for me to not be able to sleep during these dreadful early morning hours because that is when mia comes out of hiding and picks at my mind, telling me to binge and purge. So far, all she's done is made me eat a little bit of fruit around 2AM. However, I don't think that was mia's doing, I think it was more just the grumbling of my empty stomach that convinced me to feed it a bit. During the daylight hours I love the feeling of my stomach growling, it makes me feel successful, however, at night it is terribly painful.

So a few weeks ago (oh how the time flies!) I made a post promising to rid of mia forever. Well I'm slowly but surely on my way there. But I screwed up royally at first. The very day after posting about ridding of mia I had a terrible binge and purge session. Terrible. I ballooned up to 120. After that though, I went 5 days without eating anything but and english muffin. Only reason I ate an english muffin is because I had to so the anastesia would work when I got my wisdom teeth pulled. That also greatly helped me to not eat anything. I got down to 112 pounds. And guess what? I did the dumbest thing a freshly opperated on person could do. I binged. And PURGED! FIVE DAYS AFTER GETTING MY WISDOM TEETH PULLED! I didn't do any noticeable damage to the stitches or my mouth, no blood, no liver clot. And I woke up the next day 0.2 pounds lighter. Lets see, I did that on friday, so I've gone 3 days of eating less than 300 calories since. I haven't done much exercise though, which might explain why i'm plateaued at 111.4 pounds!! WTF is up with that! How can I weigh that much!? Someone who is more exerperieced with ana, please help me out here. I wanted to reach 110 pounds in 2 weeks and this coming friday is the end of that! My ultimate goal is 93 pounds. However, first I would like to reach 110. A big reward is in store for when I reach 100.

Trouble is brewing. Mia is being completely demented. She keeps trying to plan binges in my head. I want her to stop but she won't . Right now she is saying to binge and purge sometime next week. Another part of her is telling her to wait until August 10th, when I will be moving into my grandma's condo to live COMPLETELY ALONE for three weeks!! Eh eh, i sense some jeolousy! Three weeks completely alone to spend with ana and finish this dreadful AP summer homework. I feel this very compelling urge to go view other ana blogs now. Farewell.

BTW, if anyone can tell me how long it takes to lose about 20 pounds with ana, please inform me. So far I've been COMPLETELY ANA for going on 10 days. I know that is not long. But I really do wish this process would work faster.

I think I'm going to shoot for 21 days of no binging. That way, maybe I'll break the habit of the bulimia part of my disease. That's all for now.